Tag Archives: SEX



Love-making is defined as the copulation of two individuals normally a man and a woman to express their strong emotions towards each other, in such cases the two are willing to endure the pleasures and pain brought by sexual intercourse, Sex on the other hand  is having sexual intercourse just for mare  pleasure. Most people don’t know the difference between sex and love-making and so to help you realize the difference between such, EZM magazine has decided to help you recognize them by listing them down.

·        You can only make love to one person no matter how many people you have sex with,no matter how many times you mess around with different people, there is always that special person that moves you sexually and makes you feel fulfilled sexual wise. This person gives you good thoughts whenever you think of the things you do together and it makes you want to do it over and over again with them, they are more like a sexual appetizer.


·        Sex does not necessarily mean you are in love with someone, it can just be to ease yourself, please someone, or serve as a trade where you agree to be friends with benefits.


·        Love-making requires the two individuals involved to fully give in with all their emotions without holding back and don’t feel restricted to trying out what they want. If you make love to someone, you won’t feel embarrassed of what your partner would feel because you can trust them with your body. Love-making requires special timing and a comfortable place like a bedroom in order to cater both individual needs.


·        Sex can be done anywhere regardless of place or time, it can be in cars, bushes,toilets and so on, it is also mostly done within a short phrase of time.


·        Love–making takes great interest in knowing whether your partner is enjoying or comfortable and it is mostly done with special care not to hate the other, sex on the other hand  does not take time to study what the other person is feeling or to analyze the mood of the person.It is mostly done to satisfy the initiator and mostly selfish in that it is sometimes one sided.


·        Love-making ignites special and sweet memories of the person even when you are not together, you will have a strong attraction to the other person because they mean so much to you and this teaches you to appreciate and value your partner.


·        Sex does have to bring about good memories and you can do it with anyone at any place. It can just be done because you are bored, stressed, form of exercise or just to learn more about your sexuality and how far you can go sexual wise.


·        Most sexual relationships end up miserable for the people involved unless if it was just a contract or form of trade. Otherwise most people who have sexual encounters in the name of a fling end up in tragic situations in that one of the two falls in love with the other or starts to feel more than just a fling and hence jealousy and insecurity starts to creep up. Love making draws people close and connects them emotionally as some kind of attachment.

So-which one are you having, pleasure or commitment?

By: Memory “Candyluv” Sankalimba





Communication- in every relationship, people should learn how to communicate. You should inform your spouse how you want to be treated during sex. Tell them how you want them to touch you, kiss you and cuddle. Communication is good syrup for enjoyable sex because you both know what to do with each other. You have to learn to be open and talk with your partner about what places they should concentrate on to turn you on, or lead them to those areas during sex. Once you communicate as civilized adults then you are bound to have the sex of your life.


Fantasize– you are free to try your craziest fantasies if you want to enjoy your love affair. Just imagine you are in a movie though in this movie you are the star. Let loose, don’t hold back. Let your wild side loose by enjoying what you are doing and giving in as much as you want. If you hold back, you won’t enjoy your sexual urge and you will findit boring thereby making it kind of inconveniencing for your partner. Don’t beashamed as if you were doing something wrong unless of course you are.


Don’t take sex as a job– instead of looking atsex as a duty you must fulfill, look at it as a passion or hobby you enjoydoing and it relaxes you a lot. Look at it as an adventure to discovering yourdifferent sexual or body movements. Don’t just do it to impress the otherperson, do it because you want to, you love it, you desire it. Make sure youdon’t feel forced to do it or else you would be a sex slave. Sex is meant to beenjoyed by doing it with the right person at the right time.


Find a suitable time– make sure you find the right time for sex.  You consider a time when you and your partner are both relaxed really want to have sex. Sex is best enjoyed when both you and your partner are comfortable like for instance early in the morning before anything disturbs you and your minds are still fresh.Sometimes couples don’t enjoy sex because one might be tired, stressed,fatigued or just not in the mood. So finding and agreeing on a convenient time for both of you to enjoy your sexual affair.


Take caution– the best sex ever is when you don’t expose yourselves to danger in the name of pleasure. Though some sexual methods look enticing, don’t go to extremes just to get the pleasure you want.There only two people that can make each other come and it’s you and your partner,don’t add things sharp objects, adult toys as these things will destroy your delicate  parts and you might end updisabled or in fatal conditions. You should also keep the camera away during your sexual encounters because you don’t want to end up the next topic right? The last is always use protection to avoid unwanted pregnancies or STDs.


By Memory “Candy Luv” Sankalimba

Email: memorysankalimba@ezmmagazine.com

Women's Love + Sex Rights

Women's Love + Sex Rights

Women’s Love + Sex Rights.


You know about your rights as a woman, in the workplace and according to the law. But what about your rights in romance? If there is something you are not happy about in your relationship talk to your partner about it, for instance if you dont like the way they kiss you demonstrate to them, show them how you love to be kissed.  It is every woman’s right to be satisfied in all parts of a relationship.

EZM brings to you part 1 of the other “nine things” you deserve – in bed and out. Know them, claim them and be happier in love!

1 YOUR RIGHT TO GREAT SEX: Many women settle for mediocre sex even those who demand the best in every other part of their lives. You don’t need multiple orgasms, but sex should be fun and intimate more than not. You deserve it!

2 YOUR RIGHT TO ROMANCE: A number of women love to have our hands held; (I am one of them) some women love to receive love notes every now and then. And most of us crave for massages after a hectic day. Receiving at least some of these things is your right- but you may have to ask. For men, the most intimate gesture is sex, but for women, romantic things strike a chord. But unless you say it’s important, it probably won’t cross his mind. You deserve some chivalry, letting him carry your bag doesn’t set you back. It means you like being cared for.

3 YOUR RIGHT TO GET WHAT YOU GIVE IN BED: Men never have trouble requesting oral sex, why then should you find it difficult? A loving man will want to know what turns you on- and welcome any new tricks to his repertoire. So ask already! But do it kindly, sounding frustrated or angry will make the guy shrink- literally and figuratively.

4 YOUR RIGHT TO DO IT ON THE FIRST DATE OR THE 15TH OR THE 100TH: Who says you’re ready by the third date? Some men wonder why they are not getting any after several dates. So explain! Maybe you’ve rushed things before and been hurt. Maybe you’re a born again virgin. Maybe you’re just not that into him. All good things for him to know. And for you to acknowledge.

5.YOUR RIGHT TO BE YOURSELF DURING SEX: You should never feel like you’re bowing to your man’s fantasies. That goes for anything:role play, anal sex etc. It’s better to tell him your limits when you first start hooking up. Waiting until he tries it and then saying no is frustrating. Be direct, tell him your wants. You hold all the power sexually. Own that power, assert yourself and men will almost always be OK with it.


By: Memory Kalima 




You’d be surprised to know that it’s not just mind blowing sex that men crave. Men also love.

* Surprise!  A new pair of sneakers, boxers or T-shirt. Dinner at his favourite restaurant or a copy of his favourite DVD will remind him that your relationship can still be full of unpredictable fun.



* Your Touch: While he’s unblocking the drain, give him a peck on the back of his neck and watch the goose bumps appear. Trust me you’ll be on his mind for the rest of the day.



* TIME TO SPACE OUT. Vegging-out time rates surprisingly high on guys’ lists of needs. After work, give him time to recharge-  and enjoy your own “me time”, too.



There you have it ladies, blow your man’s mind by trying out the above tips and be ready to say goodbye to a boring and predictable relationship and HELLO to a fun and happier relationship.


By: Memory Kalima






When the pill is not enough ( birth control pills)

When the pill is not enough ( birth control pills)


                   When the pill is not enough ( birth  control pills)

There are times when birth control pills can lose their effect, like when you

(1) You are on antibiotics or penicillin. Take your pill but condom use also, and a week after the regimen.

(2) if you eat something from the health food store that contain St. John’s wort, which normally helps with depression. Research has shown that the pill will disappear quickly from your body and will not be fully protected. Counseling with your doctor!

(3) Do you get sick, because vomiting and diarrhea can flush away your birth control protection, complete with a condom, even the first week that you are healthy. Just to be on the safe side.

Source: Cosmopolitan

The Real Reason Ladies Cheat on Their Men Part 1

The Real Reason Ladies Cheat on Their Men Part 1

In a modern world like ours, every girl needs some kind of security. It has become a common  trend for our modern ladies to seek comfort in the hands of  other men who are not necessarily their partners. I took it upon myself to find out why girls cheat and these are some of the many reasons they gave me.

• Emotional comfort

It’s  amazing to see the number of ladies cheating because they do not want to end up alone when dumped by their loved ones. Most ladies choose this because they kind of feel some loneliness at times when their partners act up and hence some guy willing to listen and spend time with them isn’t bad. It’s more like a way of saying I can never be alone even if my main man leaves. It’s like having an already available rebound.

• Material gain

though people believe  money or material things don’t count in a relationship, Sorry guys the sad truth is it does count. Most ladies no matter how independent want a man that can meet their needs and cater for them. Though at first it does seem like money doesn’t matter in a relationship, well it does and there is some extent when you will both realize that it is important to at least have some kind of income. How would you  feel to find out  your chick bought you a t-shirt with money she got from Mr. big spender? Ladies cheat to get everything they want but cannot be given to them by their boyfriends, sometimes it’s even to take care of their boyfriends.

Find the perfect guy

 Strange right? Well thought so too, but apparently ladies play guys to see which one is perfect for them and to see who they can truly rely on,one who can love them better and make them feel safe. The truth is ladies just want a man that not meet the definition of Mr. right but at least have one or two qualities on their Mr. right list. Don’t you wonder why some ladies despite having a bunch of boyfriends still end up happy and fulfilled? Well it’s because they looked everywhere and found what they seeked (please note that this is not meant to encourage ladies to cheat).


All some ladies ever want in guys they date is someone that makes them escape real life issues like their mothers nagging, sister quarrels or frustatrations from work. So picture that this is what she really wants and you start giving her more headache than she already has, she will just end up cheating on you in order to seek pleasure you cannot give her. Though cheating has no justification sometimes it’s good to be extra careful with what you do to your woman as a guy to help her not fall into the cheating temptation.

 Sexual pleasure

Some ladies are sexually starved by their partners and hence seek sexual fulfillment in other guys willing to satisfy them. These ladies may be tired of being with one man every time and doing the same things over and over again so they try to look for new challenges to their womanhood. They want someone to meet their sexual fantasies and though they may not necessarily  tell you, they expect you to guess and surprise them some day, it really becomes agony when she finds someone that satisfies her sexual demands than her man, so just be careful.


By: Candyluv


Spice up your sex life

Spice up your sex life

My man and I have been together for a while now. I love getting it on with him and I would not change him for anyone but after a few years together, the bedroom can get pretty boring and consistent so I brought up it up with him to find ways we can spice up our sex life. It is very different for every couple but you always have to communicate with one another and find out what you like and have always dreamed of doing as a couple. The first thing that I did was to find out the nearest lingerie shops, also tried to contact places or people who had some sex books or toys, even going to sex shops to see what I could find. In Zambia we do not have publicly these things but they are there, you just have to ask around and look at what you can. Also the internet is the best place to find these things. The first thing that we decided to do in order for our sex life to become HAWT, My man and I made a schedule of six different sexual five things we would do every month to help the heat around the bedroom to rise.

Sex as strangers

 Every weekend, we decided to meet at a place where no one knew us or could recognize us. We would wear clothes that we normally can’t wear because of work or clothes that we never dared to wear. We would be pretending like we are seated waiting for someone and then he would start making moves on me and sweet talking me to get me home with him where we would have wild sex as “strangers” and do things we’d never done before in our sex life. This was a bit hard to do the first time but a tip is that you have to let go and become free. Become an actor and say the things that you have never gotten a chance to say before. This is the time to live out your fantasies.



This has to be one of the funniest things we decided to introduce into our sex life. Role plays are can make things so much and take more than the usual bumping and grinding but you can take time to talk, laugh and become XPLICT. You can dress up to be a maid in a chitenge material and you just happen to walk around topless and pant less in front of your “boss”. He can dress up to be a man of authority who came to arrest you but you said no and offered him a bit of your body to make him stay. Role plays are limited by what you are limited to. If you can’t afford big customs, play the simple roles. Garden boy and madam, boss and maid or boss lady with her CEO be creative.


Sex toys and Sex books

 If we were going to become sexperts in our sex life we might as well get things that would help us get things easier and spicier. I bought some edible lick chocolate and other toys that we could play with like exotic dresses, dices and whips. The Karma sutra books are always a great help. SEX is not just about the missionary position but also the T-junction, the Doggy bag, Spoon, wheelbarrow and more.



 Sometimes we don’t have time to go through the fore play and the games, we just want to get our needs satisfied and dealt with. A 10 minute quickie is always the solution. Make it simple and clean. Bend over; sit on it or stand, whatever way works for you will be the best position to use. Toilets, bathrooms, offices are some of the best places to have the best quickie


 Erotic massage

 Not every day you’ll feel like jumping on each other and getting down. Grab that baby oil or massage oil and massage each other sensually all over each other’s bodies. This will help you bound as a couple and also relaxes your body and mind.


These are some of the things that worked for me but both my partner and I communicated and agreed to do this together. Please keep in mind that if have not tested for HIV/AIDS TOGETHER and are sexually active, use a condom at all times and do not be forced to do something that you are not ready for or do not want. Sex is and should ALWAYS be a choice.


What is the G-spot and Where to find yours!

What is the G-spot and Where to find yours!

What is a G-spot? You might be wondering. Both men and women have G-spots and this is the area where both men and women feel most aroused when touched during sexual intercourse.

Well  G-spot is a particularly sensitive area that’s stimulated by applying pressure to roof of the vagina — and provoking it may or may not lead to orgasm and/or female ejaculation. While the G-spot has never been anatomically mapped by a body of medical professionals who can agree, it’s popularly known as the part of the urethral sponge which may be felt through the ceiling of the vagina, approximately one-third to one-half of the way in — it’s usually an oval area or ridge (sometimes called the “G-crest”) about the size of a elongated dime or quarter.




You or your partner can do this: Lie lie on your back (you can pull your knees up or place a pillow under your bum for better access), and insert one or two fingers about two inches in and up, as if you were aiming behind the pubic bone.  You’re feeling for a rough, ridged area on the front or upper wall of the vagina, about the size of a stretched-out coin. Remember, the G-spot actually sits behind this wall – again, it’s the spongy tissue that surrounds her urethra (a.k.a. the female prostate). Since you’ll be pressing on the urethra (and in the vicinity of the bladder), it’s only natural that you might feel like you have to wee when you do this. If you urinate first, then you’ll know you can ignore this feeling and you can keep on G-spotting. Once there, curve your fingers in a “come hither” gesture and massage the area firmly and steadily. Some women find this sensation downright uncomfortable and can’t get past the resulting “urge to purge”. But others actually require this kind of stimulation for orgasm, or even ejaculate as a result of it.

Men also have a G-spot

The male g-spot is NOT in the anus. It can be stimulated  through the rectum wall, but it lies below the bladder and next  to the rectum.

If the man is lying on his back, with you between his legs,  finger inserted palm side up do a “come here” motion,  towards his penis, you will feel a chestnut sized mound  – the  male g-spot.

The male g-spot feels like a firm bulge about the size of a  walnut. Be gentle, and as with anything take your cues from  your mans reactions. He will let you know by his movements  and body positioning what he wants.

Guys, I recommend you experiment and explore your  body. Learn where your male g-spot is before you let your lover  explore. This way you can advise her (or him) where the spot  is and what to do with it.

Not finding the spot and not knowing  what to do with it can lead to frustration and disappointment.  While squatting, or standing with one leg propped up on a  chair or any firm surface, place one well-lubed finger in your  anus from between your thighs.

You need to be flexible and have long enough arms. Short  stubby fingers might also be a problem. You also have to  have enough courage to do it. It is somewhat frightening the  first time but gets to be routine after some practice.

Get yourself in a sexually excited state before you go  probing around for the male g-spot. Feel around outwards, or  towards the front for something that feels good when you  press it – that is the male g-spot.

Source: Sex: How to do everything/ P-Gasm Metho

birth control pills do not cause barreness or infertility

birth control pills do not cause barreness or infertility

A lot of women and people have expressed their concern about how birth control pills in both a positive and negative way, mainly in Zambia most people think that it  might affect women to have a harder time conceiving and how bad it is for women to be on birth control. on Sexpert, we are not encouraging you to have sex unprotected and you ought to know that  you always have a choice to abstain where until you are married where you can worry LESS  about about birth controls and other consequences that being in a sexual relationship bring but every man and woman need to know what birth controls really are and if they are good for you so that when the right time comes for you to decide or have thoughts about it, you can at least know where to begin.


Dr George Soko from UTH says:

Birth control pill is a method of contraception used to suppress female fertility to prevent conception.The pills are prepared as combined Oral contraceptives or Progesterone only pill.They rely on effects of two hormones;Oestrogen and progesterone.The ovaries in the body produce progesterone hormone which enables the fertilised egg to survive,by preparing the lining of the uterus and maintaining pregnancy.progesterone is derived mainly from the corpus lute um that forms on the ovary when an egg has been released.It is also produced by the placenta during pregnancy and small amounts by the Adrenal cortex,an organ on top of kidneys.The other main hormone produced by the ovaries is estrogen,which prepares reproductive organs for conception and pregnancy.The hormones progesterone and estrogen in the birth control pills  causes  suppression of release of chemicals called gonadotropins that are involved in ovulation,that is production of an egg.That is done so by negative feedback,whereby the hypothalamus is caused to release less gonadotropin-releasing hormones.The progesterone part of the pill works by thickening the mucus made by the cervix to form a mucus plug that stops sperm from getting through to the uterus to fertilise an egg.It also makes the lining of the uterus thinner.The Estrogen part prevents ovulation by causing decrease of a hormone called FSH,follicle stimulating hormone,involved in follicular development of the ovary for ovulation.The birth control pills can contain both progesterone and estrogen,called combined oral contraceptives or may just have progesterone part called progesterone only pill.The birth control pills do not cause barrenness or infertility.Several studies done recently have been very reassuring. The correlation between birth control pills and infertility is purely a myth.

Deciding to be on birth controls should always taken into consideration with a doctor or a medical expert. Some birth controls can be harmful for people with medical conditions like diabetes, heart problems and etc but there are a lot of alternative birth control pills that you can be on and with the help of a doctor, hopefully you can decide what is best for you.

Birth control pills should not be an option for anyone to have unprotected sex and an excuse to be loose. HIV/AIDS is indeed real and even in marriage, you can contract this virus and other STD’s. It is advisable to have regular visitations to your doctor with your partner.



6 great sexual foreplay tips

6 great sexual foreplay tips

Foreplay helps flow things easier when you’re about to have sex.  It prepares you mentally and your body  for the sex act but also lands you a smooth landing when you finish the act. Foreplay is not just 3 minutes of directly touching on the desirable body parts, it can take anywhere from 3 minutes to one hour. EZM Magazine gives you some of the tips that you can do to make your partner even more aroused.


1. Kissing: It helps you feel connected but also arouses your body to start moving on to the first base

2. Massage: Massage relaxes your body. It can be very sensual and also calms the body to be completely relaxed which might enhance the pleasure for the sexual act to come

3. G spot touching. If you do not have time and want to do a quickie, go directly to the G spot and work it. Be gentle and smooth.

4. Moaning: Some people love moaning. It makes their crazy and just want to jump on it.

5. Nipple suction: Nipples have very high sensitivity both in men and women. Use them to your best advantage

6. Know your partner: In order for you to have the perfect foreplay, you need to ask your partner what she/ he likes and loves. After all they are yours. Dont be too proud to beg NO!

* Use a condom every time you have sex. 5 minutes of pleasure might land you in a life time of regrets.